A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This is the high leading the old right now
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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