Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
