it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
