Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
