why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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