i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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