names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
