for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
