When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
