The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We got so high we made milksteak
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
