my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
