help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
