I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize