Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
