woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
