The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
