He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
They have beer where we have blood.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
