Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
