how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
