for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
