Non-Jews are for practice
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I came so hard my ears popped.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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