a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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