there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
