I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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