There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
