You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
