C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
How external is "for external use only"?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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