Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
