And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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