god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
so let's talk penis.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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