I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
