ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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