and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
