dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
