Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
