nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
