In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
