I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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