Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
