i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
