just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
