please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize