Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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