he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
