My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
