Apparently you make a good broom.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
