Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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