What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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