Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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