Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
