is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
