I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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