I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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