i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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