you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm always down for nudity.
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