he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
