Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
