we made out on top of his cat.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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