I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
