I just made out with a guy for $7.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
