party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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