I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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