Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
