You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
