Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
